I tiptoed quietly down the stairs trying not to wake my moms, when Lilli’s voice called from the kitchen “Is that you, Aurora?”  “It is,” I whispered, straightening up a bit and plodding less quietly down the stairs – Becky could sleep through anything. “I thought you’d still be asleep.” “I couldn’t sleep,” my mother said through a yawn. “I’ve been up since 4.” “Everything alright?” I asked, opening the fridge and rummaging into the back for a bottle of OJ.  “Yeah, I was just thinking about when you were born.” I had heard the story a hundred times but it never got old. “Ohh…” my mind raced thinking of ways to subtly hint that I’d like her to tell me the story one more time. “Would you like me to tell you about the day your wee-little-nugget self came into this world?” My mother smiled slightly, sensing my eagerness to hear the story.  I nodded vigorously and set the OJ down on the counter along with an old binder I was holding in my other hand. My mom looked at the binder curiously, “What is that?” “Dad’s old journal,” I replied as I poured the OJ into a glass. “I was reading it last night.” “Have you read it before?” my mother reached for the journal and held it close to her nose and took a deep breath to smell it. I could see a slight chill run down her body as the smells evoked memories of a time long ago.  “No. I was rummaging through the chest of his things in the attic and found it at the bottom,” I answered as I took a sip of OJ. “I finished the part with his mystical experience in the cave. Were those visitors really real?” “I’m not sure sweetheart,” my mom stood up and took a sip from my glass. “Those were weird times back then. A lot of strange things were happening…” her voice trailed off. “It happened only a few short weeks before you were born though…” I pulled up a barstool placing my elbows on the counter and my chin in my hands. I stared at my mother expectantly, encouraging her to continue with the story. --- “I always wanted us to live in a snowy place. Sausalito was nice, but the maritime climate was just – I don’t know – kind of depressing,” Andor stood in the doorway looking out on the snowscape spread before him. It was a cold and clear night. A half-moon blanketed the snow with a soft white light and the night sky danced with beautiful greens, blues, yellows, and purples. “The Aurora Borealis are something else tonight.” he continued as turned to look at Lilli. “They were especially spectacular a few weeks ago when you were up in the cave.” Lilli probed gently, hoping to pry something out of him about his time in the cave. He had come down from there almost in a trance — but over the past week he had hardly said a word about it other than *‘It was profound, but I’m still processing it.’* or *‘I wish I could explain but I feel like that part of my brain has been shut-off. I know it’s there but it won’t divulge anything.’* Andor turned and smiled, then stared at the floor for a few moments. “What do you think happened to Sausalito? I mean after the whole disaster and all?”  “I’m not sure. It’s still there, the land obviously – but the homes, the roads, the trees, the boats are probably all gone…” Lilli’s voice trailed off as she remembered with sadness the life they had had there and would likely never have again. “Maybe our little one will live there someday,” Andor walked to the fire and poked at it lackadaisically with a stick. “Do you remember the first time we hiked to the top of Mt. Tamalpais?” “I do.” Lilli said softly, realizing Andor was not going to divulge any details about his experiences in the cave.  “It was such a dreary day, thick fog had enveloped the mountain. We couldn’t see anything and I hated that.” “Hated what?” Lilli yawned as she took a sip of water. “The fog, the dreary gray…” “I don’t know, I kind of liked the dreary grays…” Lilli paused, struggling for something to say which would change the subject. Ever since the cave Andor had become a little more edgy. He wasn’t grumpy per se, it seemed that something, just beneath the surface was rubbing him the wrong way, bringing tension to his otherwise low-key persona. “I always wanted to raise a baby in the mountains. I didn’t have those experiences growing up since my parents loved the big city life.” “I think she’ll love growing up in the mountains.” Andor walked over to the ice box and closed the door behind him. “You keep saying ‘she’.” Lilli chuckled. “Yeah, I don’t know, I just have this feeling that the little one, growing inside of you, is going to be a girl.” Andor sat at the table and began opening a can of Trader Joe’s Jackfruit. “What are you making?” Lilli asked. She was always hungry these days and Andor usually cooked up some pretty good food – especially considering their ever dwindling options. “Well our supplies aren’t as plentiful. It is almost the end of March, and as we both know it has been snowing for over four months.” Andor’s voice trailed off as he stooped to forage around inside their food chest by the fireplace.  “You didn’t answer my question,” Lilli sat up to get out of bed “Just trying to figure it out now,” Andor stood up holding a can of beans in one hand and a can of diced tomatoes in the other “How about jackfruit stew?”  “Mmm. Sounds…” Lilli started to reply but a sudden sharp pain in her lower back stopped her mid-sentence. “What is it?” Andor tossed the cans on the table and rushed to Lilli’s side. “Owwww!!” Lilli doubled over and wrapped her arms around her belly. Andor gingerly took Lilli’s hand and helped her back towards the bed, a look of concern spreading across his face. “Careful dear.”  Lilli’s breath quickened “I think it’s happening!” As if on cue and to quell any uncertainty, a clear odorless liquid began running down her leg. “Umm babe I think your water just broke!” Andor gasped, taking a step back in shock. “No shit!” Lilli cried out as another contraction gripped her body and she fell back into the bed. Through the long cold winter they had both read cover to cover the three mid-wiving books Lilli had retrieved during their last supply run to the village ^1. Andor took a deep breath and tried to recall what they had been preparing for over the past nine months. “The baby. I think it’s coming… Fast!” Lilli cried as another contraction racked her body and she let out a piercing cry.  Andor pulled a duffle bag out from under their bed, which was stuffed with all the supplies they would need when the time came.  Andor unzipped the duffle and pulled out a thick clean towel and slid it under Lilli’s pelvis. Then gingerly he peeled off her shorts.  “Babe, you’re dilated a lot and…” Andor’s voice quivered and stopped. “What!? What is it?” Lilli hissed as she struggled to speak between deep breaths.  “The baby's crowning. I see the top of the head,” Andor stuffed a rolled up towel under her hips “Bend your knees, and focus on panting — don’t push.” Andor said gently as he reached into the duffle and retrieved a pair of latex gloves. “You’re doing great babe, just keep up your breathing.” Andor could see the forehead of the baby now. "I can see the neck now. There’s no cord visible around the baby's neck.”  *I don’t know if I can do this.* Lilli’s mind was racing as she fought back the fear. *I wish my mom was here right now. God I miss her… ^2* Lilli’s breath was coming in spastic gasps as the excruciating pain reverberated through her body. Each successive contraction was worse than the last. As one wave of agony subsided she hardly had any time to catch her breath before another tore through her body like a blazing hot knife.  “One shoulder’s out, the others almost here.” she heard Andor call out but the information hardly registered in her mind. She fixed her gaze on the hieroglyphics painted on the ceiling of their cave and let out an agonizing scream as the baby's last shoulder slipped out. Andor was holding the baby gently with one hand while pressing a towel firmly, with his other hand against Lilli’s perineum. *This is happening FAST!* He thought to himself as he struggled to remain calm and remember what he had read from the birthing books.  With the shoulders free it was too awkward to hold the baby with just one hand so Andor let go of the towel and reached into the duffle by his feet and retrieved a turkey baster. It was the only thing they had remotely close to a bulb suction to clear the baby’s mouth and nose. Gently he suctioned the nearly newborn babies airway and a second later it let out a strong cry of defiance.  “I’m sorry little one, you’re almost free though.” he said as a tear of fear, joy, and amazement trickled down his cheek and splashed onto the sandy floor.  The tearing pressure wracking Lilli’s body subsided ever so slightly and she was able to breath a little deeper. *Maybe I can do this… No! I will do this. I can do anything for the little one coming into this world.*  With one last scream, half in defiance the other in pain, the baby slipped out.  “It IS a girl!” Andor cried out.  Silently Andor quickly cleaned his crying daughter with a small towel then clamped the umbilical cord with two clothes pins – the first six inches from the baby and the second two inches further down. Then with a pair of scissors he snipped the cord.  “How is she?” Lilli gasped as she tried, and failed to sit up. ![[baby-5.jpg]] “Please don’t move, sweetheart,” Andor smiled. “She’s doing great. Her skin is pink. She’s active. Just give me a second to bundle her up.” Andor wrapped her in a soft blanket and handed her to her mother.  Lilli gazed into her baby's eyes, with a tenderness Andor had never seen before.  They both began to weep.  “You should start breastfeeding. It’ll help with the after birth contractions.” Andor reminded her as he scurried over to the fireplace and tossed in a few logs to help warm up their home.  Lilli breathed a sigh of relief gazing at her baby's tiny pink body so full of life. The contractions eased up in intensity too, which helped her savor the moment more fully. Andor rubbed her belly gently with one hand while he cleaned up with the other and tossed the soiled towels into a bucket. It didn’t take much longer for the placenta to come out.  Then as quickly as it had begun a peace descended over the cave. Andor bundled up Lilli while their daughter breastfed, quietly snuggled against her mother’s warm chest. “Welcome to the world, little one. Welcome to the world Aurora Agape Kellogg.” Andor whispered as he stroked the thin wispy hair on his daughter's head.  Lilli smiled weakly as Andor kissed her on the forehead. “You did great,” he said with a smile. “Mom.” ^1: [[25 - Facing West 🦙]] ^2: [[3 - A Most Unexpected Day 💞]] ### Next Chapter: [[17 - Eagles Nest 🦅]] ### Previous Chapter: [[15 - Reunited 🍷]]