“E-99! Come out, I know you’re in there,” the seeker’s hands rested defiantly on their hips. Silence. Perched on the small ledge the wind rustling through brush and the seeker’s raspy breath were the only sounds to be heard. *Phew! That was quite the climb.* They turned to look down the cliff. *Wow! We’re far above the clouds up here.* Instinctively, they scooted away from the edge; even though falling wasn’t a possibility for them, it felt better to be away from the precipice. “I’m not leaving. I’ve got all the time in the world,” the seeker took a seat followed by a deep breath. From deep in the thicket came a frail voice: “Fuck off!” “Trust me, I’d like nothing more… but it took me way too long to get here just to turn around and leave.” “How’d you find me?” the frail voice demanded. “Queen Vishnayam sent me—she knows where everyone is.” After a long silence, E-99 finally spoke up. “What do you want?” “To talk, that’s all…” Another long, awkward silence. *Are they all going to be this standoffish? The Queen did say it would be difficult. My quarry has been stewing in their hate, anger, and craving for ages. It’s not a great recipe for making a cozy individual.* Deep in the thicket there was a shuffle, and then E-99 tentatively raised their hand. “I’m over here…” “I see you. I’m coming in.” The seeker shouldered their heavy pack and plunged into the thicket. “Don’t! The brush is sharp and it’ll make you bleed.” “So be it!” The seeker’s voice was resolute, which piqued E-99’s curiosity, and he sat up. *I haven’t spoken to anyone in so long it might as well have been an eternity. Now this being shows up looking for me, and they’re hacking through this impenetrable thicket, which has imprisoned me for a moment short of forever. Is this real or another apparition come to torment me?* The thicket was dense, thorny, and nearly impenetrable. After several minutes of swearing, grunting, and much blood and sweat, they finally reached E-99, cowering in the brush. “Stand up!” the seeker commanded as they offered a hand. “I don’t think I can,” E-99’s voice quivered. “You can—trust me.” E-99 took the outstretched hand and slowly rose to his feet. “See? What did I tell you?” E-99 scowled. He hadn’t stood in ages. He had been stuck here, and he would always be here. What was the point of standing? There was no escape from the apparitions and nightmares which relentlessly haunted him. It was hell. “Now that’s better, isn’t it?” the seeker continued, undeterred by E-99’s glowering persona. “What do you want to talk about?” E-99 demanded. “You and why you’re suffering – that’s a good place to start I guess.” the seeker shrugged. “What do you know about my suffering?” he croaked, his throat suddenly parched. “Well, for starters, I know you haven’t had a drink of pure water in over seventy-seven ages.” The seeker took off their pack and reached inside to retrieve a metallic canister. “Drink.” They unscrewed the lid and handed it to E-99. He grabbed the canister and, in one long chug, emptied it. Wordlessly, he handed the empty canister back to the seeker, eyeing them suspiciously. “That water is from the mountain,” the seeker offered as they tucked it back in their pack. “What mountain?” E-99’s voice dripped with disdain. “The mountain where you must go.” “I’m not leaving!” E-99 defiantly crossed his arms over his chest. “Why?” the seeker’s eyebrow shot up. “Because it’s impossible, and this is all I’ve ever known…” he retorted motioning to the small ledge covered in a thorny thicket - his prison. “What could possibly be here that is worth sticking around for?” the seeker asked patiently. “It can’t be the dreams.” “What do you know about my dreams?” E-99’s voice peaked in thinly veiled rage. *This is yet another apparition meant to torment me with hope only to retract it once I let my guard down.* “I’m not falling for your tricks!” “You’re right, I don’t know your dreams… I do know you are haunted—but by what, I do not know. Perhaps you should tell me?” “Why should I tell you?” “Why shouldn’t you? When was the last time you spoke to someone here?” “Never.” E-99’s voice cracked and he stared at the ground. “Well, this is your chance. Tell me, and then I’ll do as you asked.” “What did I ask?” E-99 glared out of the corner of his eye at the seeker. “For me to fuck off.” “Oh right—I forgot about that…” E-99’s voice trailed off as he rubbed his shoulders. *I haven’t moved in ages. I’m covered in filth. I’m wretched! I guess it can’t get any worse; what’s the harm in conversing with this apparition? Maybe they can make the dreams go away at least?* With a deep breath, he began. “There’s this one dream about a prisoner who’s serving a life sentence. He knows he’ll never leave the prison. The guards are cruel, and in his rage and hate he decides to kill as many of them as possible. So, he compels his fellow prisoners to riot. The riot lasts many days, and a lot of the guards are killed. Eventually, troops show up, and the riot is quelled. The other inmates—many of them close to being released—realize they’re now doomed to life sentences. So they turn on this prisoner…” “What did they do?” the seeker probes. “I don’t want to tell you… plus they’re just dreams.” “They aren’t dreams.” the seeker says softly. “They’re your experiences from other iterations in alternate realms.” “Iterations? Realms?” E-99’s eyebrows contorted in skepticism. “There’ll be plenty of time to explain later. For now, continue with your story. What did they do to the prisoner in your dream?” “They bound him to a chair and made his friend rape him. He didn’t want to, but they were going to kill him if he didn’t.” E-99’s voice broke, and he began to weep. The seeker stood there, watching the tears splash onto the sharp grass. “Go on—what happened next?” “I thought it was over, but then they began to beat the prisoner—kicking, punching, tearing, ripping… He bit someone’s cheek off in the fight when they laughed at his suffering.” “I see…” the seeker said. “What happened next?” “They left him on the cold concrete floor. He thought they might let him be… but a minute later three of them picked him up and threw him off the third-story causeway. He hit the ground, and his legs snapped like twigs; his spine collapsed, and he lay there drowning in his own blood for several minutes, before he succumbed to his injuries and died.” E-99 had never told anyone, but the bugs which crawled over his body about that dream. He had left it buried deep within himself. He took a deep breath and a small bit of tension eased out of his body. The simple act of sharing his pain with someone had given him a little relief - something he had never felt before. “I can see in your eyes that sharing your dream—which must have caused you a lot of pain—has brought you solace.” The seeker stepped toward E-99 to embrace him. “Don’t touch me—I’m filthy!” he shrieked. “I can change that…” The seeker stepped back, reached into their pack, and pulled out another canister and a small bundle of linen cloth. The bundle was tied up in a neat package with some rough cordage. “I’m not thirsty.” E-99 wiped the snot from his nose with the back of his hand. “This isn’t for drinking…” The seeker unscrewed the cap and began to pour the contents over E-99’s head. The water was cool and smelled wonderful. It was a small canister, but the water continued flowing as if from an infinite source. E-99 let out a long, deep breath as the rivulets of sweet-smelling water splashed down his face and neck. “What’s that smell?” “It’s lilac and bluebonnet nectar – as well as cedar and rose oils,” the seeker said, taking his hand and beginning to wipe the muddy filth off E-99’s face. “What’s that?” “They’re flowers and trees that grow on the mountain… far, far away.” The seeker continued pouring water over E-99, which slowly began to wash away the filth. Then, in clumps, his tattered and rotting clothing began to fall to the ground. “Turn around, please,” the seeker coaxed gently. E-99 stood there, frozen in fear. “I won’t harm you; you have my word. I just need to clean your back.” Slowly, E-99 turned. He could feel the seeker rubbing him with a cool, smooth object. “What’s that?” he asked. “Goat's milk soap,” the seeker replied with a smile. “Let me guess—it’s from the mountain?” “You’re clever and starting to catch on,” the seeker chuckled. “You’ve had other dreams. Tell me about them.” “There’s a cow, surrounded by other cows. They are all scared—it smells like death. One cow sees the carcass of her baby. Something is cutting off its head. There’s blood everywhere. She closes her eyes and tries to recall the green, grassy field where she was born. There the sky is blue, and the water is fresh. But in this place where she’s been imprisoned for far too long, she cannot even see the sky. She’s fed moldy, rotting grass. At first she refuses to eat it, but eventually starvation overcomes her, and she begrudgingly eats.” E-99’s voice cracks, and he begins to sob, again, as the sadness of the dream overwhelms him. Wordlessly, the seeker continues washing his back and neck. “Why can’t I leave this place? I hate it here,” E-99 sobbed, his chest heaving and convulsing. “What did I do to deserve this?” The seeker’s voice was soothing as they answered, “Your tears are healing you, as what was suppressed is brought into the light. I’m sorry for you and your suffering.” “I don’t need your fucking pity.” The muscles—what was left of them—tightened in E-99’s back. “Yes, you do. My pity shows I care. My pity is proof that you are loved. Without it, you are left with your rugged individualism—and where has that gotten you? Regarding your dreams; as I said earlier they were you – in your previous iterations.” “I was once a cow?” E-99 turned slightly to stare at the seeker incredulously. “Yes, after your iteration as a prisoner. Your hate and anger there, in that prison, compelled you to begin the next iteration as a beast to be slaughtered. You should’ve been shown mercy – compassion. Instead other life forms enslaved you, abused you. They were fueled by contempt and disdain, driven by lust, control, and greed. Since they were more powerful than you, they oppressed you, silenced you, and consumed you.” “Why?” “Why did you kill those guards in the prison riot?” “Because I hated them.” “There is your answer—part of it, at least.” “Why did they hate me? What did I do?” E-99’s shoulders relaxed a little. “To consume you, they had to distance themselves from your suffering—that is not love. The opposite of love is hate. So, this is what filled the void love left behind. Let me see your feet, please; I need to wash them too.” E-99 balanced himself on the seeker’s shoulder and lifted up his leg. His feet were covered in sores from lying in filth for so long. The water stung a bit when it washed over the wounds, but he had become so accustomed to pain he hardly noticed. As the cool water and soap rinsed away the filth, he smiled. Throughout his entire existence on this tiny ledge, he had never known compassion or love. The feeling was so foreign, he was almost scared of it. *Is it safe to feel this way?* “There—now you are clean.” The seeker stood, looked E-99 in the eyes, and smiled. “But I’m naked,” E-99 blushed. “Yes you are, take this.” The seeker handed E-99 the bundle of linen. “What is it?” “A tunic - a gift from Queen Vishnayam.” “Well, tell her thank you next time you see her.” “Tell her yourself.” The seeker tucked the empty water canister and soap back into their pack. “How am I going to do that, stuck way up here?” E-99 reached for the package, gingerly untied the bow, and began getting dressed. “Well, first you need to leave this place.” the seeker gestured around the cleft, which was filled with razor-sharp brush. “But the thicket is too dense and sharp—and the grass will cut my feet.” “How did you get here?” the seeker asked. “I just woke up here…” His voice trailed off as he looked up into the sky. Above them, the cliff continued upward out of sight. “Then we must jump.” “Are you kidding!? We’re much too high up. Plus, I don’t want to tear my new garments thrashing through this thicket.” E-99 rubbed his hands up and down over his new attire. “I came prepared for that.” The seeker reached into their pack and pulled out a match. “What are you going to do with one match?” “Step forward and see.” The seeker held out their arms wide. E-99 looked down at his feet, and his nose curled at the stench emanating from the pile of filth there. *I don’t want to be here any longer. I want to leave.* With a timid step, he left the filth behind and allowed the arms of the seeker to wrap around him. Then the seeker struck the match against a rock and dropped it to the ground. In a flash, the grass and brush caught fire. “Ahhhhh!” E-99 screamed. “Don’t be afraid. Your garments will protect you. Be still, be calm, and watch your prison burn around you.” The fire raged for quite a while. The heat was intense, but it didn’t even singe a hair on their heads. “There is a lot to burn; your prison has been growing around you for far too long.” The seeker smiled warmly. “Today – you begin your journey toward freedom.” The fire burned back toward the cliff, which caused large rocks that had been held in place by the thick vines, to break loose and slide onto the ledge. “We’ll get crushed!” E-99 cried in terror. “That we will—if we don’t jump.” “This is all I’ve ever known,” E-99 motioned to the small cleft on the side of the cliff. “Why are you helping me? Why didn’t you come sooner? I… I don’t trust you.” The seeker smiled, “I would have come sooner but choices you made in other iterations set me on a path which necessitated a delay. As for why I am helping you – the love which I have been given compels me to be expressed through action. Helping beings, like you, gain their freedom from long standing dogma, fear, and ignorance – it is as much a part of me as breathing.” The seeker paused, took a deep breath, and held out their hand, “I haven’t harmed you yet, so why would I now?” E-99’s stared at the outstretched hand as the cliff above his ledge crumbled, raining rocks down all around them. He flinched, looked back at the smoldering crumbling ruin and clasped the seeker’s hand in his. Hurriedly they picked their way through the smoldering ash toward the cliff’s edge. “Are you ready?” the seeker asked. E-99 turned to look one last time at what was left of “their” ledge where they had awoken ages ago. He could hardly believe he was leaving. “Is it any better down there?” “It is. Oh, how it is.” Then they leapt—hand in hand—into the void. ![[asi-iv-bodhissatva.jpg]] *I thought falling would be terrifying, but it’s actually quite exhilarating. I should have done this a long time ago…* E-99’s face was bright with joy. “Do you see them?” The seeker pointed at a ledge as they streaked by. “I do.” E-99’s mouth hung open as he saw similar life forms wallowing in their own filth and misery. “They need to be freed, just as you have been.” “Who will do it?” E-99 asked. “You will.” “How?” “Take this.” The seeker reached into their tunic pocket and retrieved a gold coin. E-99 took it. “What should I do with it?” “The Great Griffin will take you to the spaceport. Present this golden coin as payment for your fare aboard a ship leaving for the Sukhavati System. When you arrive, ask for Ruth.”^1 “What about you?” “I’m needed elsewhere.” “Who is the Great Griffin?” E-99 gazed at the shiny golden coin rubbing it between his fingers. The seeker pointed toward the blanket of clouds they were rapidly approaching and whistled. E-99’s gaze followed to where the seeker was pointing. “I don’t see—” Then his voice caught in his throat as a great winged cat erupted from the clouds. A moment later, they plopped onto its back with a soft thud. “What’s your name?” E-99 asked. “Oda The Seeker, child of Queen Vishnayam, sibling of Aiōn.” “You said you were needed elsewhere—where is that, Oda the Seeker?” “I’m not sure yet. I go where the wind takes me… It was nice to meet you, E-99. Best of luck on your journey.” A second later, Oda The Seeker levitated into the air and shot up into the blue sky. E-99 craned his neck, straining to see where they had gone, but they had disappeared. ^1 [[14 - Ruth 🏝️]] ### Next Chapter: [Stay Tuned](https://www.substack.mountaintopcoding.dev/) ### Previous Chapter: [[22 - The Diner 🧚‍♀️]]